


Amnesia

by emma_b



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe, F/M, Fluff and Angst, M/M, One Shot, after the band broke up, mentions of 5sos
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-11-26
Updated: 2014-11-26
Packaged: 2018-02-27 01:52:19
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 12,038
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2674451
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/emma_b/pseuds/emma_b
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It’s bullshit, is what it is. Even after the boyband has been broken up for two bloody years, Louis still gets stopped in the streets by fans asking for pictures, asking about the other boys and how they’re doing. It’s not that Louis minds, he’s still astounded how dedicated the fans are even after all this time. It’s the arched eyebrow Louis gives his fans when they ask how he is. It’s the frown that plays on his lips when the fans ask if he regrets the tattoos they got together. It’s the delicate roll of his eyes when they ask him if they still speak to one another.<br/>That’s what Louis minds.</p><p>Or the one where Harry and Louis break up at the end of their contract with Modest! and the band doesn't sign with another label.<br/>I couldn't get the song Amnesia by 5SOS out of my head and thought it would be cool to somehow write a fic based on it. So. Here it is.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Amnesia

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first completed fic and I hope you enjoy it! :)

It’s bullshit, is what it is. Even after the boyband has been broken up for _two_ bloody years, Louis still gets stopped in the streets by fans asking for pictures, asking about the other boys and how they’re doing. It’s not that Louis _minds_ , he’s still astounded how dedicated the fans are even after all this time. It’s the arched eyebrow Louis gives his fans when they ask how _he_ is. It’s the frown that plays on his lips when the fans ask if he regrets the tattoos they got together. It’s the delicate roll of his eyes when they ask him if they still speak to one another.

That’s what Louis minds.

Every time Louis blinked, he saw a flash of green behind his eyelids. Every time he lay down to go to sleep, he could feel the ghost of gentle fingertips on his skin. Every time he laughed he could almost hear the quiet laugh belonging to Harry Styles. This is why Louis doesn’t like to think about him and the memories they made, to the extent that he doesn’t even say his name. It hurts too much because _he_ broke Louis’heart and it’s all bullshit.

He tells anyone who will listen that he doesn’t think about Harry, except for that he does all the time.

And that’s what Louis is mainly mad about. He can’t get over him after two fucking years and… Harry was it for Louis. Harry was his endgame. They were supposed to quit the band together, quit music all together, and after the hype over One Direction breaking up was over they’d come out together and get married and adopt some kids. It was all a part of the plan.

Harry never really did stick to plans or scripts much, but neither did Louis really. They nearly outed each other during every interview they’ve ever had. Louis is a fairly good actor, but his passion and love he held for that stupid mop-headed boy overwhelmed him and he just wanted to share his relationship with the world.

Modest didn’t like that much.

And maybe it was sort of Louis’ fault that they broke up, but in his mind he was doing it for the greater good of the band, which was a justifiable reason to Louis. Making music, going on tour, having a laugh with the lads in interviews… all he knew was this band and he was scared. The future was uncertain and it was terrifying. He knew if the band stayed together, the future wouldn’t be here so soon and he wouldn’t have to think about it for another couple of years. And if the only way Modest would keep them on is if Louis and Eleanor got engaged…well….

Harry was the one who brought him tea when he woke up, kissing him even though his teeth weren’t brushed. Harry was the one who could make Louis laugh even when he was upset. Harry was his confidant. His best friend. His silly rabbit… one thing he knew for certain was that he loved Harry, more than anyone has ever loved anything or anyone in existence.

Louis knew he’d have to break the news to Harry first, but apparently somehow blabber-mouth Niall caught wind and told Harry, thinking he already knew about the staged engagement.

The problem was, Louis had the meeting in secret.

The other problem was, Harry said it was the last straw. He would absolutely not let his boyfriend get fake engaged to his beard. It was never going to happen.

________________________________________________________________________

“I can’t believe you didn’t tell me about this!” Harry yelled, throwing his head scarf across their bedroom.

“I’m sorry, love,” Louis said calmly, hoping it would calm Harry down. “It’s just… I knew this was how you were going to react either way. I figured I might as well talk to management first to see what they thought and, if they refused then it would be no big deal. No one would’ve gotten hurt.”

“No big deal?” he nearly screamed. “No one would have gotten hurt? Louis, did you even consider how I feel about this? It’s bad enough that they stick her on you whenever we mess up, I don’t want the world to think you two are actually together!”

“Most of the fans know we’re not!” Louis pleaded. “Harry, it’s just- I want the band to stay together yeah? And management liked the idea of Eleanor and I getting engaged-”

“So it was your idea then?” he asked, shooting him a glare from across the room.

Louis frowned, “Well I mean there was talk about it a couple of years ago, I figured we might as well put it on the table.”

“Louis,” Harry said, sitting down on their bed. “How could you even consider this an option? Would you really rather have the band stay together and be engaged to her, than have One Direction break up and for us to come out?”

Louis sat on the bed next to him, “Well….”

“I can’t believe what I’m hearing,” Harry said, putting his face in his hands.

“Love, it will be okay-”

Harry shot him a cold look. “This was _not_ a part of the plan and you know it. We all agreed as a band that we’ve been fucked out by management. We have no free time, no energy, and even worse we can’t even appreciate our fans properly because it feels like a _chore_. This was supposed to be fun, you know? We all agreed it’s not anymore.”

“We have fun still,” Louis said, not believing the words as they came out of his mouth. For once Harry was sticking to plan.

“Yeah when we’re all hanging out at Niall’s place and being ourselves,” Harry said. “I’m sick of not being me, Louis. I’m sick of trying to not act so “gay” all the time. I’m sick of being rumored to having relationships with any girl I even _look_ at. Most importantly, I’m sick of not being able to proper _be_ with you.”

“I’m sick of it too-”

“So why would you want to continue doing this?” he asked, his green eyes shone brightly as if he was holding back tears.

Louis didn’t have an answer.

“You see how miserable Zayn is being engaged to Perrie, right? The fans don’t see it but we know him better, we _know_ when he’s miserable. Why would you want to put yourself, and me, through that?” Harry asked quietly.

“I’m sorry, we don’t have to do it, okay? I just wanted to see what you’d think,” Louis sighed, defeated.

“No it’s- this… this really isn’t even about the whole “fake engagement” thing either. You went behind my back, Louis. You made this decision on your own,” he said, his voice cracking slightly. “You said if management didn’t like the idea then no one would get hurt. But, guess what? I’m hurt anyway, Louis. You lied to me.”

“I… I didn’t,” Louis stuttered, looking at the boy he loved so dearly who looked like he was falling apart. He didn’t like seeing Harry like this.

“But you did,” he said quietly. “And I had to hear about it from Niall of all people.”

“I was trying to figure out a way to tell you,” Louis whispered.

Harry shook his head. “I don’t want to hear it Louis, you _promised_ me that you were going to talk to me about anything that goes on between you and Eleanor.”

“I realize I broke that promise-”

“But do you realize you broke my trust as well?” Harry asked him. Louis watched his Adam’s apple bob in his throat. Harry was trying so hard not to cry.

“I’m sorry, babe,” Louis said, throwing his arms around him in a tight hug. “I didn’t mean to.”

“The fact of the matter is that you did,” he said, shoving Louis off him. He got off the bed and ran a hand through his hair. Harry sniffled and a broken shiver shook through his body- trying so hard not to cry.

“I love you,” was the only thing Louis thought of to say.

“I don’t think love is enough anymore,” Harry said as tears finally started to run down his face. “We’ve fought so hard against management to come out, and now that we get the chance you run back to them and ask if we can stay together if you propose to Eleanor?”

“Harry-” Louis said, feeling his throat tighten up.

“I- I need some time,” Harry said, wiping his face.

Louis got up from the bed and hugged him. This time, Harry didn’t push him away but he didn’t embrace him either. All he did was stand there and cry.

“Louis, really,” he said after a minute or so. “I just need… I need some time.”

“Why?” Louis asked, his eyes wet with tears as well.

Harry hiccupped a little. “I don’t want the band to break up just as much as you don’t, but if that means I get to be with you _for real_ then I’d do anything to be with you. I’m not sure you feel the same anymore,” he said quietly.

Harry walked away from him and grabbed his bag, stuffing shirts and pants into it haphazardly.

“Please don’t go,” Louis cried.

“I’ll be back,” Harry said, grabbing his phone charger and other essentials.

“How long?” Louis asked him. Whenever they’d get into fights like this and Harry would leave, he’d be back within a day or two.

“Dunno,” Harry wiped his nose.

“Promise you’ll come back,” Louis pleaded with him.

Harry looked at him with a somber expression. “Promise,” he said and closed the distance between them, kissing Louis quickly.

Harry left.

Harry didn’t come back.

Even though he’d promised.

The way he saw it, Harry was the one to end things initially but Louis was the one to end things _officially_ a week and a half after Harry originally left the flat. He went over to Ed’s house, where he was staying, and told him he couldn’t do it anymore. Granted, Louis was pissed drunk and angry that Harry didn’t fucking come back even though he fucking promised, which he threw in Harry’s face as they were arguing. Harry’s face was cold and unfeeling much like when he said, “You promised too.” and promptly slammed the door in Louis’ face.

The band officially broke up a month after that because really there was no One Direction if Harry and Louis weren’t speaking. Harry moved out from their flat and stayed with Ed while Louis spent his days in bed crying and cuddling Harry’s forgotten pillow because it smelled like him.

Louis wept for days after the pillow lost Harry’s smell. Because that meant he was really gone and he wasn’t going to come back.

_________________________________________________________________

Louis mostly spends his days either talking business with a few small companies he invested in, out on his sailboat- yes he took up sailing he needed a hobby, or sitting at home watching the telly.

Niall, Zayn, and Liam stopped in on occasion, sometimes together sometimes not- although Zayn and Liam were pretty much a package deal- though they know it hurts Louis to see them all happy and together sometimes.

Eleanor will stop by too; she’s not a bad person. She’s really actually quite good company when she’s not pretending to be his girlfriend. They’re friends now, actually, which Louis doesn’t mind because she’s about the only person who will let him whine and cry about Harry whenever he’s missing him too much (which was always but he tries not to be such a drama queen about it anymore). Besides, she likes to go out on Louis’ boat with him and she’s about the only person who will anymore.

Apparently if you run out of gas _once_ in the middle of the ocean, with no wind to sail home with, no one will want to go boating with you anymore.

As it so happens, he and El were out in the marina, drinking lemonade and laying out on the deck sunbathing and generally having a good time.

“So tell me,” Eleanor said, propping up on her side to talk to Louis. “How bad is it today? Like on a scale of one to ten, ten being the worst.”

“Maybe a five?” Louis said, sitting up. “You shouldn’t have talked me into cliff jumping, Eleanor. My whole body absolutely aches.”

“You just said it was a five you twat!” Eleanor laughed. “You did hit the water pretty hard, been gaining a bit-o-weight have you?”

“Only six pounds! Lay off me, not everyone can drink Starbucks all day and not gain a thing,” Louis scoffed at her.

“Please! This is the worst shape my body’s ever been in, in my whole life!” she pouted and laid back down.

Louis pinched her tummy lightly, which she swatted his hand away immediately. “You’re still as skinny as ever. You’re gorgeous, Eleanor. Don’t be so hard on yourself,” he said to her.

“Thanks, tell all your friends,” Eleanor rolled her eyes.

“Don’t have any,” Louis said, “You’re the only one I’ve got. Now, give me a cuddle and we can fall asleep in the sun together, yeah?”

Eleanor happily obliged and tucked her small frame into Louis. “So… tell me, how bad is it today? On a scale of one to ten and ten being the worst,” she said quietly.

“Ten,” Louis sighed, this was no longer about how sore he was after cliff jumping. “It’s always a ten.”

“I dunno why you guys couldn’t work things out, you were actually perfect together,” she said.

“I think the fans thought we made a better couple,” Louis muttered.

“Ha! As if!” she laughed. “Only the deluded ones couldn’t see the truth, Lou. You couldn’t look less enthused whenever you were with me.”

“It’s not my fault, I hated you as a beard,” Louis said. “And I say this with sincerity: you make a much better friend than a fake girlfriend.”

“The fandom kind of blew up when you two confessed you guys were together, didn’t they?” Eleanor mused.

“And five seconds later they had a meltdown because we told them that we weren’t together anymore,” Louis frowned.

“I got a lot of hate,” she sighed. “But I was just doing my job, I don’t know what they couldn’t understand about that. I digress. Tell me again why you guys aren’t together still?”

“We’ve been over this El,” Louis said in mock annoyance. She knew all the right things to say to get Louis to talk about _him_ , even when he didn’t really want to. It was nice to know she would listen to his misery. “He didn’t want me to fake propose to you.”

“Do you think he overreacted though?” Eleanor asked.

“No,” he sighed. “I would have said the same thing if he were to have fake proposed to Kendall Jenner or, God forbid, Taylor Swift. It was more that I broke his trust, I guess. That’s why he left.”

“Still can’t believe he didn’t come back,” she whispered.

“Me either.”

After an hour and a half nap, they collected their things and walked back to Louis’ car so he could take her home.

“We should go out tonight,” Eleanor said as she got into his car. “There’s this cute little pub in London, it’s not very popular but there’s live music _and_ Niall said it’s got a good deal on pints.”

“You talk to Niall?” Louis said, almost surprised.

“Yeah. It started out with him telling me since he was the straight one, we should fuck but I turned him down. Didn’t wanna upset my Lou-Lou,” she said, pinching his cheek.

“Ow! Sod off you wretched beast,” Louis said, slapping her hand away.

“I can talk to Niall and see if he wants to come out tonight,” Eleanor offered.

Louis considered this. He hadn’t seen Niall in ages it felt like. “Yeah… yeah why not? Been a while since I’ve seen the lad. How about Zayn and Liam as well?” he asked.

“Yeah, sure,” Eleanor smiled at him. “I’ll text everyone right now, it’ll be a lot of fun Louis. It’ll be good for you, you’ll see.”

________________________________________________________________________

The pub was actually sort of packed.

“Eleanor you lying bitch!” Louis exclaimed once they got inside. “It’s not a popular pub my ass!”

“It’s not my fault Niall tweeted he was going out to the pub with the lads tonight!” she said, shooting Niall a glare who was just walking up.

“Sorry mate!” Niall shouted as he approached the two. He pulled Louis into a giant bear hug and kissed his cheek. “You wanker it’s been weeks since I last heard from ya! Thought you fell off the face of the planet or sommat.”

Louis smiled, “Not a chance, my man. I’ve got too much to live for!”

“Like?” Niall asked, quirking an eyebrow.

“Seeing your bright and sunny face of course,” Louis smiled, patting the blonde lad’s face gently. “Sorry it’s been so long, mate.”

“No worries,” Niall said as they walked up to the bar.

“Listen,” Eleanor said. “I’m going to give you boys a chance to catch up because _I’m_ going to go hunting for a free drink.”

“Don’t let anyone put anything in it,” Louis warned her.

She just smiled and rolled her eyes as she made her way through the crowd.

The boys were finally able to reach the bar and promptly got themselves the biggest mug of beer they could order. That was one good thing about Niall’s Irish roots, if Louis wanted to drink to get pissed Niall was the guy to do it with.

“So how have you been?” Niall asked, taking a sip from his beer.

Louis shrugged. “Same old, I guess. Yourself?”

“Good, actually! Met meself a girl,” he said with a giant smile plastered onto his tanned face.

“Oh? Who’s the lucky lady?” Louis asked, glad that Niall _finally_ met a girl who wasn’t after his money.

“Her name’s Elizabeth, she’s from the states. Met her out in L.A. actually, she’s an accountant _and_ she used to be a big fan of ours. Went to a couple of our concerts in Illinois,” he said happily.

“Chicago then? Always a good crowd, spectacular city. If she’s an accountant out in L.A. she’s defo not gold digging, I bet she makes good cash,” Louis said.

Niall nodded, “Got her a big fuckin’ house and everything. She’s gorgeous too, absolutely stunning.”

“Was she even a “Niall girl”, as the fans would call it?” Louis asked with a smirk.

Niall laughed and shrugged. “Yeah, guess she saw a picture of me somewhere and decided I was cute so she should listen to our music. She did tell me she crossed over to the dark side for a couple months and was a “Harry girl”,” he laughed again.

Louis’ face visibly fell at the mention of _his_ name. As did his good mood. As did his internal organs, felt like they fell to the bottom of his arse.

“Fuck, shit I’m so sorry Lou I didn’t mean to,” Niall said, noticing the change in Louis’ expression.

Louis waved him off. “Nah, it’s fine mate. I’m over it really,” he lied.

“Are you?” Niall asked, disbelieving.

“Yeah, sure. Met a guy a couple weeks back, he’s a good guy and all. Didn’t you see our picture leaving the club together in The Sun? ‘Boy Band Heartthrob Louis Tomlinson of One Direction Moves On’ was the title,” Louis said. It was all the titles of any article that got pap pictures of him taking another guy home. Which, seeing as Louis was trying to fuck his way to getting over Harry, there were a few.

“Just cause The Sun says you’ve moved on, doesn’t mean you actually did,” Niall pointed out and took a giant slug of his beer.

“Yeah, well,” he sighed.

“Lizzie, she- uh- she asked me about you two,” Niall said after a moment.

Louis rolled his eyes, “Did she?”

“Yep, told me she knew you guys were together. She asked me how you were doing and all that, wondered if you missed him and all,” Niall commented, sipping his beer.

“And what did you tell her?” he asked him.

“Told her what I tell Harry when he asks about you: that you’re doing just fine,” Niall said. “Now, let’s stop talking about this. I know it depresses you. Drink your pint, get pissed, have a good time! Forget all about that dumb boy for a night, doesn’t that sound good?”

Louis smiled and nodded; he took a drink from his beer and felt the alcohol warm his body some. He failed to mention to Niall that even when he was drunk off his arse, he still could feel Harry’s soft lips on his. That he could still smell him sometimes in the flat.

That Harry was always on his mind.

About an hour later, Zayn and Liam decided to show up looking blissed out and completely and utterly happy.

Through fuzzy eyes Louis could’ve sworn he saw the curly hair that belonged to the man that broke his heart. Louis could feel the absence of him strongly tonight, he wasn’t sure if it was the booze or just seeing the happy couple, Zayn and Liam, together. Maybe it was a combination of both.

The live musician was supposed to come on at ten and it was nearly that time when Niall spotted Ed with Eleanor and flagged them over for a chat. Louis avoided all eye contact with the ginger haired man who let Harry stay with him when he should’ve been at home with Louis.

Ed and Eleanor left after a few moments of chatting- which _rude_ , she totally ditched Louis but whatever. He was busy watching last night’s football game the Rovers played and lost. He was too engrossed in the television to pay much attention to anything else.

But then he heard it.

“Oh fuck,” he heard Niall mutter. The chorus of Liam and Zayn’s “oh fuck” and “goddamned shit” only confirmed what Louis was thinking.

The only thing that could ever drag his eyes away from a footie match.

The slow, deep voice talking into the microphone only about fifteen meters away from him.

“Hiii, sorry about the delay,” the voice said.

This couldn’t be happening. Tears sprang in Louis’ eyes. His fist clenched around the glass he was holding. He refused to look away from the television screen.

“My name is Harry Styles, and I’ll be singing for you tonight,” he said.

Louis was not fucking drunk enough for this.

Louis felt a hand on his shoulder. He turned slightly, careful not to look towards the stage, and was face to face with Zayn.

“I’m so sorry, Lou,” he said to him. “We can go if you want. Go drink at our place.”

“This is all your fault Niall,” Louis said, voice choked with tears.

Niall shook his head, his expression was apologetic. “I’ve been to this pub millions of times and he’s _never_ been here before, this must be the first time… I didn’t know, I promise I didn’t do this on purpose,” he pleaded with him.

“Promises,” Louis scoffed. But he knew it wasn’t Niall’s fault, or Zayn’s, or Liam’s, or Eleanor’s. It was _his_.

“Anyway,” Harry said, strumming his guitar a bit. “I’ll be playing an old song a few friends of mine wrote a long time ago.”

“If it’s _Strong_ or _Happily_ I swear to God I’ll actually go up there and punch him in the face,” Louis said through his teeth.

The boys just gave him a sympathetic look.

“In all fairness,” Liam said. “I doubt he’d address you as a friend, so he’s probably not singing the song you wrote for him… nor the song he wrote for you.”

“Sometimes I really wish you’d keep your mouth shut Liam Goddamn Payne,” Louis sighed, pushing back the feeling of crying. Liam was right though, Louis just didn’t want to admit it.

“Some of you may know it,” Harry said. “It’s called _Amnesia_ by Five Seconds of Summer. I picked it because, uh, I guess it kind of… just… summarizes how I’ve been feeling for a while now. So.”

Harry began to play.

Louis began to cry. Every word, every note, every strum of his guitar felt like a punch to the gut. It felt like Harry wrapped his hands around Louis’ heart and squeezed. He couldn’t breathe. He couldn’t breathe. Why is this happening?

“Tell me this is just a dream,” Harry sang, finishing up the song. “’Cause I’m really not fine at all.”

The crowd was silent until the very last note when they started applauding. Everyone in the pub was clapping for him and cheering for him because his voice was so soulful and he probably looked really fucking hot singing it.

“Thank you very much. Glad you all liked it,” he giggled.

He still fucking _giggles_.

“Well most of you, if not all,” Harry said. “I see one grumpy group of lads over at the bar there that wouldn’t even turn around and watch me sing. Bit rude, don’t you think?”

The pub was silent.

“Tell me what you thought of it lads,” Harry said to them.

Louis wondered if he could even tell who he was talking to, the pub was poorly lit as it was and it was crowded. Packed.

Louis heard Niall’s chair squeak next to him as he turned around.

“Think you’ve lost some of your charm, wanker,” Niall shouted to him.

“Could it be? Is that who I think that is?” Harry asked excitedly. “Is that none other than Niall Horan?”

“Oi!” Niall laughed back. The crowd started cheering.

“And if I’m not mistaken, Zayn and Liam too yeah?” Harry asked.

Louis could practically hear the smile in his voice. He tried to focus on the television, the bartender, anyone but Harry. It was so hard though, Harry used to be the person he focused on more than anything. It was hard to just _ignore_ him. Block him out. Pretend he wasn’t there.

Louis should have walked out the moment he heard him start talking on stage. Now the spotlight was on them and he couldn’t walk out without anyone noticing.

Louis wanted to curl up in a ball and die.

The crowd, naturally, was cheering and whooping and hollering.

“Quiet, quiet I want to talk to the lads! Just for a bit,” Harry laughed. “How come you guys didn’t clap for me? And who’s your friend and why didn’t he clap for me either? You lot are the _worst_.”

Louis put his head in his hands and tried to focus on not hyperventilating. How could he not tell that it was him sitting here?

“Come on then, tell me why you didn’t like my singing!” Harry laughed. Louis knew Harry just thought it was just friendly banter with a stranger, he didn’t really care too much about criticism, but Louis couldn’t talk to him.

He could feel the stares of Niall, Liam, and Zayn on him. He could, however, feel the burn of Harry’s stare on his back.

He refused to acknowledge him.

He refused to turn around and see him.

He would absolutely fall apart in front of a crowd of fifty or so people the moment he turned around to look at him.

“Shy are we?” Harry asked. Louis could still hear the smile. “Come on I’m not that famous anymore, you can talk to me. I’ll be nice I promise.”

Then, something in Louis snapped. Maybe it was the alcohol, maybe it was just the fact that it’s been two years since he’s even spoke to _him_ and he’s acting all cheeky with him. Maybe it was just hearing the word “promise” coming from Harry’s mouth. Or maybe Louis was just having his monthly mental breakdown. He wasn’t sure.

He wasn’t sure why he even sang _that_ song. A song they sang together often, always ending the song in a promise that something like _Amnesia_ would never happen to them.

Not in a million years.

Because they were perfect for each other and nothing would ever come between them.

They promised, every time.

Louis took his hands off his face and inhaled sharply. He could feel the eyes of the whole pub on his back, waiting to hear a response from him.

 “You promised,” Louis said, more to himself than anyone.

“Speak up, yeah?” Harry asked.

Louis got up of his bar stool and willed himself not to cry. Still staring behind the counter, he took a deep breath and slowly turned to where Harry was stood. Fifteen meters away. He was still all long legs and curly hair and stupid headbands and tight skinny jeans and green eyes that widened in recognition as Louis made eye contact with him.

He would not fall on the floor and cry.

“I said,” Louis cleared his throat. “You. Promised.”

Harry’s mouth popped open to form a perfect ‘o’ on his beautiful, ridiculously pink lips. Harry’s shoulders visibly sagged and his face completely fell. As did his guitar on the stage.

With that, Louis pushed his way through the crowd and out the door of the pub. The air was warm and the ally next to the pub seemed like the perfect place to sit down and cry. And have a smoke.

Just as Louis’ shaky hands lit up his cigarette, the back door to the pub opened and Louis watched as the tall, slender figure that belonged to Harry Styles approach him.

He was still the same. He wore the same things and he had on the same pair of ripped up, black skinny jeans he loved. His curls were longer and wilder but they suited him. He looked older, but ages more tired.

Harry watched Louis for a moment before he sat down next to him.

It felt like years before Harry spoke, in fact Louis’ cigarette was nearly gone by the time he did say something.

“Long time,” was all he said.

“What do you want?” Louis asked him, harboring the urge to burn him with his cigarette. Preferably on that stupid fucking ship tattoo he had on his arm for the whole world to display. A silent profession of his love for Louis that was no longer true.

“I wanted to speak to you,” Harry said quietly.

“And?” he asked with indifference.

Harry sighed, “And to apologize for the way I acted in there. I-I didn’t realize that was you. I wouldn’t have badgered you to…”

“To what?” Louis spat. “Look at you? Tell you how great you were? Because you were, you were bloody brilliant. Happy?”

“No.”

“What gives you the fucking right,” Louis spoke with a certain harshness in his tone, “to fucking sing that song?”

“And what do you mean by that?” Harry asked, astounded.

Louis put out his cigarette on the underside of his shoe and stood up. Harry followed suit. “I _mean_ that you don’t have the fucking right to sing that song and you fucking know why,” Louis spat.

“As if,” Harry rolled his eyes. “Pardon me for expressing my feelings.”

“I don’t actually give a damn, do you know that? You can’t sing that song and have it be about me because you do not have the right to say that I walked out on you, Harry Styles,” Louis shouted at him.

“You broke up with me, Louis! Of course you walked out on me!” Harry shouted back at him.

“No, actually, _you_ walked out on _me_. Remember? I asked you not to go but you needed some “time”. You promised you would come back but you fucking didn’t. What other choice did I have? You made it pretty fucking clear to me that you were through with me,” Louis snapped, crossing his arms.

“Oh did I?” Harry scoffed. “Because I explicitly told you I didn’t want you anymore? As if I could throw you away like some rubbish in the kitchen.”

Louis clenched his jaw tightly and rubbed his hands on his face. “You didn’t have to! You always come back after a day or two but you didn’t. You didn’t have the courtesy to call or text me, fuck you didn’t even have Ed do your bidding for you!” he barked.

“Yeah, and I thought it was great that it was so easy for you to break up with me,” Harry’s words shot out of his mouth like bullets. “You didn’t give one shit less the day you showed up at Ed’s doorstep.”

“Because I was furious with you and I was _drunk_!”

“Seemed to me that you didn’t care,” Harry shrugged.

“I died that day Harry,” Louis said, giving him the coldest glare he could muster.

“No you didn’t,” he said narrowing his eyes at him.

“Don’t you dare tell me how I feel,” Louis said, exasperated, shoving his pointer finger into Harry’s chest. “You weren’t there after you left. You weren’t there to see me fall apart day after day after day. You weren’t there so you don’t _know_.”

Harry rolled his eyes and swatted Louis’ hand away. “But you’ve moved on, there are articles all about the internet headlining that you’re over me, there are multiple pictures of you with other guys,” he said, changing the subject.

“Just because the internet says I’ve moved on, doesn’t mean that I actually have,” Louis said to him, narrowing his eyes as Harry’s expression turned from cross to surprised.

“Do you still care about me Louis?” Harry asked him quietly, looking vulnerable as ever. As if he was a sixteen year old boy again and he was telling Louis he had a crush on him.

Before he could answer, Eleanor busted into the ally.

She gave Harry a dirty look and turned to Louis and said, “I believe it’s time for us to go.”

Louis looked to her and then back to Harry who wasn’t surprised to see her. His eyes were trained on Louis, his stare growing more intense within the seconds. He was clearly waiting for an answer.

Louis opened his mouth to answer but Eleanor slid her hand into Louis’ and pulled him away from Harry. She put him into a cab and it was over. Louis would never have to see Harry again. It was over. It was all over.

Except for that it wasn’t.

________________________________________________________________________

Louis’ longing for Harry was nothing compared to how he was feeling now. Now that he’s seen him and talked to him. He looked as good as ever and Louis was seriously kicking himself for not forgetting everything in the past and asking for him back.

But that wasn’t who Louis was, he was stubborn and a fighter and he doesn’t just _forget_ or _get over_ moving on from the love of his life.

He asked Zayn that a few days later.

“If you know someone is the love of your life, and you like break up or whatever, how do people just… move on?” he asked him.

Zayn sat back on Louis couch and puffed on his cigarette thoughtfully. “I dunno mate, Liam’s always been the love of my life yeah? I mean, I know we broke up for a while there when I proposed to Perrie but… I’ve never had to move on from him,” he said with a shrug.

“Take it from someone who’s experienced it first hand: it fucking sucks,” Louis sighed and sat back on his couch as well. “Can I bum a smoke?”

Zayn gave Louis quite the offended look, “Did you blow through all your millions already that you can’t buy yourself a pack of smokes?”

Louis rolled his eyes, “You know that out of the five of us, I was the best with my money. And _no_ I left them in that pub ally where I fought with you-know-who.”

“For fuck’s sake Louis, this isn’t Harry Potter you can say his name out loud,” Zayn sighed, handing him a cigarette. “Besides, I thought you quit smoking?”

“Did that for Hazza,” Louis said, lighting it up. “I have no Hazza anymore so now I can smoke as much as I please.”

Zayn gave him a sympathetic look.

“Where’s Liam then?” he asked, changing the subject.

“Believe it or not, he’s comforting Harry at the moment,” Zayn told him. “We do that, you know. When you both want us to come over, we play rock, paper, scissors to see which one of us gets which one of you. We work in shifts.”

“Hilarious,” Louis deadpanned, taking a drag from his cigarette. “Glad you’ve made a game out of my misery. Yeah, cheers!”

“It’s not like that you twat,” Zayn said, swatting his arm.

Louis sighed and flicked the ashes into a dirty mug that was sat on his coffee table.

“He’s not over you, you know,” Zayn told him. “I know it’s not my business to tell, but he’s a right mess without you.”

“Yeah, well.”

“Louis quit being so stubborn,” Zayn said, trying to keep his tone in check. “You complain that you miss him all the live long day and then when I tell you that he misses you too, you just wave it off like you don’t even love him anymore. Do you still love him or do you just love the drama?”

“What do you mean the drama?” Louis asked, almost offended.

“Look, we all know you’re a fan of drama. The fighting, the angst, the cold glares, the harsh words. You _love_ drama. You purposefully started it when we were a band-”

“Like hell,” he protested.

“Oh really? Any love bites an interviewer would point out on Harry, you’d claim them as yours. You’d constantly act so possessive around anyone who even _looked_ at Harry. Remember the Taylor Swift fiasco? That was a shit-show, honestly. And let’s not forget the iconic weed video-”

“Okay, okay enough,” Louis said, shutting him up. He took a long drag off his cigarette before saying, “So what if I caused a bit of drama? We had to give the fans something to talk about.”

“I know, but honestly at times it got a little annoying Lou,” Zayn said quietly. “The only person who didn’t think it was annoying was Harry.”

“Yeah well he got sick of it didn’t he? Because he left,” Louis pointed out.

“He left because he was doubting how you felt for him, not because he wasn’t in love with you,” Zayn said, rubbing his temples. “ _You_ went and fucked it up Louis, _you_ broke up with him.”

“But he left-”

“He was going to come back,” Zayn said sharply, shutting him up with a cold glare. “He told me a few hours before you broke up with him that he was going to come home that night. You showed up on the doorstep and Harry thought you were bringing him home, but then you broke up with him. He was so fucking devastated Louis. _You_ were the one who fucked things up. Quit blaming him because he walked out first, the break up was your fault.”

Louis’ heart sank and his vision became blurry with tears.

“Listen, mate, I hate that I had to be the one to tell you that,” Zayn said, putting a hand on his shoulder. “You needed to hear the truth, even if it wasn’t what you wanted to hear.”

“Why didn’t anyone tell me that?” he whispered.

“Wasn’t our business to tell,” Zayn said simply.

Louis put out his forgotten cigarette in his mug, the excess ashes falling onto the floor before Louis could flick them off. He’s been an utter twat for so fucking long. “All this time I’ve been blaming him for breaking up with me, but… fuck I was the one who ended things. He didn’t break my heart, I broke his. I broke my own heart,” he said tears dripping down his face.

“Oh Louis, I love you but you’re a damn fool,” Zayn said sadly, pulling Louis into a tight hug. “To answer your question, I don’t think anyone can really get over the love of their lives. I think they just accept that they’re gone out of their lives and live their lives without them. I don’t think they ever really move on.”

They stayed like that for ages, it seemed like. Louis sobbed, Zayn held him. It was like the old times again.

________________________________________________________________________

Louis found himself outside the same pub exactly a week after his altercation with Harry. He could hear the quiet hum of a female voice from the sidewalk. It was soothing and pretty but not quite like Harry’s voice. His was the voice he was hoping he would hear instead of the person who was actually singing.

He wasn’t sure why he convinced himself to come here in the first place. He could trick himself into thinking that he’d just taken a wrong turn or he came here to have a drink. Or he could face the truth and admit to himself that he was hoping Harry was here. Because he missed Harry and he loved Harry and he just wanted to see him again or talk to him, even if that meant they were fighting.

Louis had to see Harry just once more.

He’d convinced himself in the taxi on the way here that he wanted to see him for closure. He convinced himself when he got out that this would be the last time he’d ever see Harry Styles. He stood in front of the pub at nine at night because he just wanted to tell Harry he was sorry.

When really he just wanted to see if he looked as sad as Zayn said he was.

Louis felt the wind whip against him and blow his hair haphazardly around. He didn’t mind as much as he would’ve a few years back. Vanity wasn’t as important to him anymore without cameras and fans following him around 24/7. Plus he didn’t have anyone to be handsome for anymore.

Louis heard footsteps coming closer and his heartbeat quickened. _What if it was Harry_? But it was just Ed with a pretty girl on his arm, they were a good looking couple. They looked really happy together.

“He won’t be here,” he said to Louis in passing as he walked into the pub.

Before he could get in though, Louis put a hand on his arm and stopped him. He looked up to him with pleading eyes and said, “Where?”

Ed turned to the girl and said, “Why don’t you go in and get us a table, love?”

She nodded and walked into the pub without so much as a glance at Louis.

“Where?” Louis repeated his question.

Ed crossed his arms and assessed Louis. “He told me, jokingly of course, if I ever saw you on the street looking for him, that you’d know exactly where he was,” he said.

“What?” Louis asked, confused.

Ed sighed and ran a hand through his ginger colored hair, “He said you’d know where he was if you ever wanted to have a chat.”

“I haven’t talked to him in five years,” Louis nearly cried. “I don’t know who he is anymore how am I supposed to just _know_?”

“Come on, Louis. You _know_ that he hasn’t changed much within the last five years, he’s just a lot sadder now… you know how he gets when he’s sad,” Ed told him with a shrug.

“I do,” Louis nodded sadly.

“Listen, if you do happen to find him, don’t you dare break his heart again. He still loves you so much Louis, don’t put him through hell again. I don’t think I could pick up the pieces a second time,” Ed said with warning.

“The last thing I want to do is hurt him,” Louis said in earnest.

“Good. Now please, go find your boy and leave me alone. You’re making me miss out on my date,” he said. Louis watched him walk into the pub and leave him out in the wind and the cold.

Louis sighed and sat on the curb, where the hell could Harry be? Louis should just _know_ where he was but Harry has so many different favorite places to go when he’s sad: L.A., Paris, or Rome were his top three. But Louis couldn’t just _fly_ out there and scour those cities to find him.

Louis felt like crying, why did Harry have to be so mysterious and poetic when he was sad? It’s not fair. He’s so complicated and it didn’t make any sense. He sighed and put his face in his hands, it was quite chilly outside now. He wished he could have a cuppa, one that his mum made for him. For some reason it was more comforting to him than the cuppa he made for himself.

And then Louis got an idea. He pulled out his phone, ignoring all this missed calls and texts from Eleanor and the lads. He called his mother who answered on the third ring.

“Louis! Baby how are you, it’s been such a long time,” she cooed over the speaker.

“Mum it’s only been a little over a week,” Louis laughed quietly.

“Still. I’m missing my boy,” she said. “How are you love?”

Louis shrugged. “You know how it is,” he said. “It’s hard without him Mum. Really hard. I saw him about a week ago.”

“How’d that go?” she asked quietly.

“Not good. Listen, Mum, I’d love to chat but this is really important. You’re still friends with Anne right?” Louis asked, fiddling with his shirt nervously.

“Yeah, why?”

“She’s still living in Holmes Chapel right? Same house and all that?” he asked.

“Yes…” she said hesitantly. “Why are you asking me this?”

Louis sighed, “Listen Harry’s missing, well not missing, but like hiding away because he’s sad or sommat. He always goes home when he’s proper sad and I need to see him.”

“Oh,” his mum said. “Listen, Louis if you go and see him, that’s fine. Just stop by on your way back yeah? I’ve been missing you.”

“Okay I will Mum,” Louis said “I love you lots. Tell the children I said hello and that I love them. Only do it if they’re still up, wouldn’t want to wake them.”

“Will do baby,” his mum said.

“See you sometime soon,” he said and hung up.

Off to Holmes Chapel then.

____________________________________________________________________

  Louis felt really stupid, really very stupid. It was nearly ten thirty by the time he got to Harry’s house. Anne’s car wasn’t in the drive but Harry’s was. He was probably on the sofa watching a shitty movie and eating popcorn because that’s what he did when he wanted time to not think about things for a while.

To pretend he was normal.

Louis parked across the street as to not disturb Harry if he wasn’t awake or sommat. He’d just hoped he didn’t look as creepy as he felt.

Louis mustered all the courage he could find and pushed himself out of his car. He forced himself to go up to Harry’s door and ring the bell. He forced himself not to cry and run away.

He certainly didn’t expect Gemma to answer the door.

Louis was sure Gemma wasn’t expecting him either.

“Louis?” she whispered. “What the hell? I mean, it’s nice to see you but why are you here?”

“Hi Gemma, uh, I came here to see Harry?”

Her face fell, “Oh.”

“Does he not want to see me?” Louis asked. “Er, um, that was a stupid question I-I already know the answer. Um, would you at least tell him I’m here?”

“Um…” she said obviously conflicted.

“I got the invite to the wedding,” Louis said after a moment of silence, unsure of what to say to her. “Sorry I didn’t attend. Congratulations though, you and Ash are perfect for each other really.”

“Thanks,” she smiled and twisted the wedding band on her finger. “We’re really happy together.”

“Figured as much,” Louis smiled.

“Gems, who could possibly be at the door that’s more entertaining than I am? I’m not done telling you how miserable I am!” Louis heard Harry call from inside the house.

Gemma laughed softly.

“That’ll do it,” Louis sighed.

“How’d you know he was here anyway?” she whispered.

Louis shrugged. “Ed… um, yeah like I figured he hasn’t changed much and he used to come home whenever he got proper sad. Figured it was worth a shot to come see,” Louis said.

“So you drove for an hour and forty five minutes hoping he’d be here?” Gemma asked him.

“All I’ve got left is hope Gemma,” Louis said quietly. “I miss him. I-I want him back. I need him and… I need to tell him that.”

Gemma stared at Louis with a contemplative look. “Okay, I’ll go get him,” she said and turned around, only to come face to face with Harry.

“Gemma is that who I think that is?” he asked her quietly.

“Door’s for you,” she said just as quietly. Gemma walked around Harry and into the house so it was just Louis and Harry.

Harry looked mad but he wasn’t telling Louis to get off the property either, so that was a good sign.

Louis was a ball of nerves, seeing Harry scrutinize him like that made him want to jump out of his skin. He hated Harry looking at him like that.

They stared at each other for a long time before anyone said anything.

“What are you doing here then?” he asked bitterly. “Have you come to yell at me some more?”

“I’m sorry,” Louis blurted.

Harry crossed his arms over his chest. “What do you want?” he asked, his angry façade completely deflating. He looked so fucking tired.

“I came here to tell you that,” Louis took a deep breath and looked into his eyes. They looked so sad and tired. Defeated. “I’m not fine at all.”

“What?” he asked scrunching his face in confusion.

“Sometimes I start to wonder, was it just a lie?” Louis sang quietly. “If what we had was real, how could you be fine? ‘Cause I'm not fine at all.”

Harry took a deep breath and stepped outside, closing the door behind him. Harry took Louis’ hand and led him to the front porch to the swing where they used to spend a lot of time snogging on.

His hands were so warm and when he held it, Louis felt whole again.

When Harry let go of Louis’ hand, it felt like he’d just been repeatedly trampled on by a herd of angry horses.

“Please sit,” Harry gestured to the wooden swing.

Louis sat.

 “How did you know I’d be here?” Harry asked Louis as he sat down next to him. Not close enough to touch, but not so far away that suggested he wasn’t open for conversation.

“Ed,” Louis said to his hands.

Harry nodded in understanding. “Lou,” Harry said gently, warming Louis to his core. He missed Harry calling him that. “You’re having a conversation with me, not your hands. Look at me when you talk to me, you know how much I hate that.”

“It’s hard to look at you,” Louis said to his hands, choking up. “I miss you so much Hazza, it hurts to even think about you. I’m surprised I’m not a mess of tears right now.”

“You don’t cry much,” Harry commented.

“Past tense, I cry all the time now,” Louis said, glancing up at him.

Harry ran a hand through his loose curls. “I cry a lot too, Lou,” he sighed. “I miss you all the time, seeing you the other day made me want to run out of the bar and weep into my pillow.”

“I was trying to ignore you,” Louis half smiled. “I couldn’t though, you’re impossible not to ignore.”

“I went out to find you that night to patch things up,” Harry explained, wringing his hands together. “I wanted to, like, be friends or something. I thought I was okay Lou, but seeing you so angry and messed up over it all made me realize how _not_ okay I am.”

“Every day I’ve spent without you is a day I’ve spent in hell, Harry,” Louis said looking into his eyes. “I can’t believe you don’t think I didn’t die the day I broke up with you.”

Harry breathed outward in shock. “You said it,” he said, disbelieving. “For the longest time you kept placing the blame on me and acted like I broke up with you-”

“Zayn told me some shit that made me realize you didn’t, like, walk out on me or whatever,” Louis said.

“Like?” Harry asked, green eyes piercing into his.

“Like that you told him you were going to come home a few hours before I showed up at Ed’s house. And that you thought Zayn told me you were coming home, and you thought I was there to bring you home,” Louis said. “But I broke up with you instead.”

Harry nodded, “He was telling the truth, I really did think that.”

Louis bit his lip, “Then like, he told me I had to hear the truth you know? I realize how much of an absolute tit I was, I thought… I thought you weren’t planning on coming home. So I ended things.”

“I was though,” Harry said. “Louis, you’re my home. I don’t care how mad at you I am, I will always come back to you, how could you not know that?”

“Because I’m a fucking idiot,” Louis said, rubbing his hands on his face.

“No, you’re not an idiot you were just hurt. I shouldn’t have been gone for so long,” Harry sighed and scooted a little closer to Louis. “I get it though; I would have felt the same way as you.”

“Right. Well, you know how I am, I always assume the worst when it comes to the people I love,” Louis sighed as well. “I shouldn’t have assumed. I right well fucked it all up Hazza.”

“I didn’t help the situation either though,” Harry said.

“But I was the one who went behind your back and-”

Harry put his hand on Louis’ knee and patted it. “Don’t. Please, don’t beat yourself up over it,” he said gently.

“How can I not?” Louis asked, tears welling up in his eyes. “Harry, I’m going to beat myself up over it because I was an idiot and I lost you, the most important person to me in the world. How could I not be upset about that?”

Harry pulled Louis into his chest and wrapped his arms around him. “I may have had a slight overreaction to your news all those years ago. I could’ve handled the situation a lot better, but I was so angry with you. I was so hurt. But Louis, I want you to know that I miss you and everything in the past is in the past. You’re still my sun, my moon, and all of my stars,” he kissed the top of Louis’ head lightly.

Louis wrapped his arms around Harry and held him tightly. He never wanted to let him go again. With that thought, he started to cry. “I’m still in love with you Harry,” he whispered.

“I’m still in love with you,” Harry said and ran his fingers through Louis’ hair gently. He mumbled something about how he had always liked Louis’ hair a bit longer.

“I’m sorry it took so long to tell you,” Louis said, nuzzling into Harry’s neck. This felt so _right_. This felt like home.

Harry laughed quietly, “It’s okay, I know you’re stubborn- even more so when you’ve been hurt.”

“I should’ve taken you home that day Hazza,” Louis said. “But I’m never going to let you leave again.”

“I don’t ever want to go,” Harry said and kissed his cheek.

“I was so scared that you got over me, that you moved on,” Louis confessed. “That was partially why I didn’t try to seek you out and talk. I was scared you wouldn’t want me anymore.”

“Never,” Harry said, shaking his head slowly. “I’m always going to want you Lou. Besides, I don’t think anyone can just “get over” the love of their life.”

Louis lifted his face to meet Harry’s, who smiled brightly dimples and all. Louis smiled back at him and kissed him.

________________________________________________________________________

Louis stayed at Harry’s house that night and they decided that Harry should move back in today. After their visit with Louis’ mum, who was more than happy to see them back together, they went straight to Harry’s apartment and started moving things. The lads eventually came over and helped Harry move back too, it was strange having all the boys in one room together again. It was a good kind of strange, though. They all seemed to fit back into place, like puzzle pieces, and it didn’t seem awkward at all.

Zayn of course took all the credit for getting them back together.

“ _I_ was the one who finally grew a pair and told Louis the fucking truth,” he said as Liam carried the last of Harry’s boxes into Louis’- and Harry’s- flat.

“You told him all the secrets I told you in confidence though!” Harry said in protest, as he opened a beer and took his rightful seat in Louis’ lap.

Louis kissed Harry’s cheek as they cuddled into each other. “Isn’t it worth it though because we’re back together again?” Louis asked him.

“I guess…” Harry said, smiling up at Louis like he was his sun- his ultimate source of happiness.

That was Louis’ favorite smile of Harry’s.

“Yeah but now we have to endure all their lovesick PDA again,” Niall groaned. “It’s absolutely disgusting, mate. So thanks for that.”

Zayn laughed, “At least we don’t have to listen to them bitch about missing the other anymore.”

“Cheers to that,” Liam said, clinking his beer with Zayn’s and taking a seat next to him on the floor.

“Oh please, I wasn’t even that bad-” Louis started to protest.

“Mate, you were literally crying in my arms not forty-eight hours ago,” Zayn said, swatting his arm.

“Have you decided how you’re going to tell the media you’re back together?” Niall asked after a moment of silence.

“Haven’t gotten that far,” Louis said, looking at Harry. “I think maybe we’ll just go out in public holding hands or sommat. They can make their assumptions.”

“Can we do a bit of snogging as well?” Harry asked, grinning. “I’ve always wanted to snog you right out in the open, in front of seven hundred paps, just so someone would get a photo of us.”

“In high quality as well!” Liam added with excitement.

“However you want to do it is fine with me, babe,” Louis said, kissing Harry’s hair.

Niall groaned in mock disgust, “Thanks again Zayn.”

________________________________________________________________________

Four days later, Louis was in their room and waiting for Harry to bring him a cuppa because he was feeling a bit under the weather that day. They finally got all the boxes unpacked this morning and they felt like spending the rest of their day in bed and watching the telly was the best way to celebrate.

Louis mentioned he liked the flat much better now that Harry’s stuff was moved back in. It felt like home again and didn’t feel empty anymore.

Harry very nearly killed Louis with the amount of kisses he gave him. They were very touchy feely from the moment they got back together. Louis claimed it was because he was “making up for lost time”, Harry claimed it was because “Louis is so fucking hot and if you were dating him, you’d want to put your mouth all over him all the time too”.

“Lou, who’s unlocking the door?” he heard Harry call from the kitchen.

It wasn’t uncommon that Eleanor popped in unannounced and whenever she felt like, because she had a set of keys to the flat. It was then when Louis realized he may have forgotten to tell Eleanor he and Harry got back together.

So imagine her surprise when she walked in and said, “Lou I’ve got some _amazing_ news darling!” and saw Harry in the kitchen instead of her blue-eyed boy who was usually crying around this time.

 _Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck,_ Louis thought as he got out of bed and rushed to the front of the flat to greet her.

“What the hell?” Harry asked, giving her a confused look as he poured the last cup of tea.

“I was just going to say the same thing,” she said, crossing her arms over her chest. “What are you even doing here?”

“ _I_ happen to live here,” Harry said, rolling his eyes.

“Since fucking when?” Eleanor scoffed. “Does Louis even know you’re here? He’s going to be pissed if-”

“Eleanor,” Louis said, silently telling her to stop. Obviously, neither of them realized he was standing in the room with them, as they both looked shocked to see him.

“Go back to bed love, I’ll send her home,” Harry cooed to Louis.

Eleanor scoffed, “You will be doing no such thing! Last I heard, you were being an absolute fucking twat to my best friend-”

“That’s enough, El,” Louis said gently. “I apologize, I forgot to tell you that Harry and I got back together.”

Eleanor rubbed her temple. “How is that something you forget to tell me?” she asked in disbelief. “How long?”

“Well, seeing as you were in Paris the day it happened,” Louis said, shaking his pounding head. “It wasn’t something I wanted to tell you over text. Besides, I was a bit busy being blissed out and happy because I got back together with Harry.”

Harry gave her a smug smile.

Eleanor ignored him.  “Fine whatever. I’m glad you two are back together and you’re not all depressed and shit, but I’m a bit pissed you didn’t tell me,” she said, pouting.

“Sorry love,” he said, pulling her into a hug.

“It’s okay. Anyway, I stopped over to tell you some amazing news!” she said happily. “I finally signed on with a modeling agency in Paris!”

“Congratulations!” Louis said with a smile, glancing at Harry who wasn’t pleased that she was still here.

“I leave in a week,” Eleanor commented. “I’ll be home as much as I can be though and I’ll visit whenever I can.”

“I’m seriously _so_ happy for you,” Louis said hugging her again.

“Yeah, congratulations,” Harry commented and put an arm around Louis after they were done hugging.

“Thanks,” Eleanor said, gaze lingering on Harry’s arm. “I was going to see if you wanted to get a flat in Paris with me but… I guess that’s out of the question.”

“Bit, yeah,” Harry said with a bit of sarcasm in his tone.

Louis had to hold back an eye roll.

“Well, I can obviously tell when I’m not wanted here seems like you guys were trying to have a night to yourselves and no company right?” Eleanor said, shifting her weight to her other foot.

“I am feeling a bit under the weather and Harry just made tea…” Louis said, gaze lingering on the china cups. He hoped it wouldn’t be cold by the time he got to drink it.

“That’s fine,” Eleanor said, smiling a little forcefully. “I’ll see you later then Lou? We should do lunch before I leave.”

“Agreed,” Louis said with a smile.

“Um… congrats to you guys and all,” she said as she slipped out the door.

Harry and Louis exchanged a glance with each other, grabbed their tea, and walked back to bed.

An hour or two later, they decided they wanted to order take away when Eleanor was brought up again.

“You guys are friends then?” Harry asked, sorting through the drawer in the kitchen that had the take away menus. “You and Eleanor, I mean.”

“Yeah we got pretty close within the last year and a half,” Louis said, taking a seat on the barstool. “It was a surprise to me that it even happened, but she’s a nice girl.”

“When she’s not pretending to be your girlfriend?” Harry asked, cocking and eyebrow up and choosing a Thai take away menu.

“I know it sounds silly,” Louis said with a smile. “But she let me complain about you a lot.”

Harry nodded. “The way she acted when she was over earlier, I’d say she had feelings for you,” Harry said. “Lingering gazes and hugs. Let’s not forget multiple pap shots of you two cuddling on your boat.”

“Oh don’t be silly, Hazza,” Louis giggled.

“Plus she doesn’t care for me, could be jealousy,” Harry stated. “What do you want?”

“Something with noodles,” Louis said, leaning in and looking at the menu. “You know what I like. But yeah, I’d say she doesn’t like you much because I was really hurt over you. I hardly doubt she was jealous.”

“Why’d she have a key?” Harry asked changing the topic. He was chewing his bottom lip and looking over the menu. Louis always was amazed that he could make the simplest things sexy.

“It was easier for her to have a key to the flat than have me let her in on the days I was too depressed to even get out of bed,” Louis said as Harry dialed the number to the restaurant. “I hope you don’t mind.”

Harry shrugged and placed their order. Once he hung up, he put the menu away. “I guess I don’t really mind,” he commented.

“I recon she won’t be coming ‘round much now that we’re back together,” Louis said. “I mean I know she’s moving but…”

It was then when Harry noticed something shiny pushed underneath the door to their flat. He walked over and bent down to pick it up.

“I recon you’re right, love,” Harry said, turning a silver key over in his hand. He showed Louis the key, assumed to be Eleanor’s, and his face visibly fell.

“Oh,” he sighed.

Harry walked over to Louis and gave him a reassuring hug and a kiss that turned into something more dirty than reassuring.

Eventually they both pulled away and Louis buried his face into Harry’s neck. Harry held his boy closely and tightly, “Don’t worry, it’ll be okay. You guys will do lunch and you can talk about it then, yeah?”

Louis nodded and kissed Harry’s neck. 

________________________________________________________________________

They never got lunch.

She didn’t have a going away party, and if she did Harry and Louis weren’t on the guest list.

Eleanor didn’t even swing by the flat to say goodbye.

All Louis got from her was a text a week after she left that said:

**Eleanor: I’m sorry I’ve been such a bitch to you lately Louis & I’m sorry I didn’t say goodbye & I’m sorry I’m saying this over text… I’m a coward & you should know that, so don’t be too pissed. Recently I realized I developed feelings for you. I know you’re gay & I never stood a chance but seeing you with Harry really fucking sucked for me. I didn’t want to give you an ultimatum yanno like ‘it’s either him or me’ bc I knew you would pick him so I made the decision for you. I’m really sorry it had to be this way but I wasn’t about to stand in the way of your true love. It’s easier for me, for the both of us. Love you Lou & best of luck with everything babe .xx**

“Did that just fucking happen?” Louis asked Harry after he read him the text.

“I told you she liked you,” Harry said bitterly. Louis gave Harry a look. “I’m sorry. That sucks babe, wanna fuck about it?”

“Harold!” Louis said, smacking his arm which only made him laugh. “No I don’t want to “fuck about it” I want to talk about it!”

“You sure?” Harry asked, eyeing Louis up and down.

“No,” Louis growled and took Harry by the hand and led him into their bedroom. Louis could practically _feel_ Harry’s excitement. Louis pushed Harry onto their bed gently and straddled him.

Harry leaned forward to kiss him, but Louis put his pointer finger up to Harry’s lips. “You better believe we’ll be talking about it after we’ve finished, okay?” Louis asked.

Harry bit down on Louis’ finger gently, sucking on it as he slowly pulled his mouth off to speak. “Anything you want babe,” he said in a rough voice.

“Good,” Louis said with a shudder that wracked through his whole body. “Hands and knees Harry, I’m going to absolutely fucking wreck you.”

“’M so, _so_ glad you haven’t changed,” Harry groaned happily, doing what he was told.

________________________________________________________________________

Things were smooth sailing from that point on. Harry and Louis were HarryandLouis again and that’s exactly how Louis wanted it. Because they were back together, the lads came over more often. Though it took nearly five months, their friendship was very nearly the same as it was when they were still One Direction.

Louis could finally stomach being around Zayn and Liam and when they told the lads the good news at a pub of all places- Liam fucking proposed that bastard- Louis turned to Harry to say something smart to him, but Harry gave him the most blindingly happy smile he’d ever seen.

And of _course_ Niall insisted on officiating the wedding- I can get my fuckin license for free on the internet or sommat!- which then led Zayn to claim Louis as his best man, leaving Liam with Harry.

“Good God,” Liam complained that evening. “I’m going to have a cupcake themed bachelor party with no strippers allowed if Harry plans it.”

“You weren’t allowed to have strippers anyway,” Zayn said, shooting him a cold glare.

There were laughs and drinks and toasts and happiness literally leaking from all of their orifices. It was like the old times again, only somehow completely better.

Later that night, Louis was in the shower washing the pub smell off from him- while Louis doesn’t mind the smell, Harry does. He tries not to complain about it too often, though. Louis showers for him anyway, only because more often than not, Harry will join him. The times that they weren’t together in the shower, Louis would use Harry’s body wash so he could smell like him. It was his secret and no one else knows about it. Louis assumes Harry suspects him, but he doesn’t think Harry minds because Harry always comes out of the shower smelling like Louis.

He heard the door open and close quietly. The soft sound of Harry’s bare feet walking around on the tile floor was comforting, while the sounds of him undressing were more exciting than anything else, really.

“Hazza?” Louis called out.

“I’m gonna join you,” Harry said to him. “I just got a text from Zayn, apparently after we left the lads agreed we’re gonna get married next.”

The thought alone made Louis’ heart jump into his throat. Harry pulled the shower curtain back and jumped into the shower quickly, shivering because of the temperature difference.

Louis pulled Harry into a hug and rested his head on his shoulder. “I’d love for us to be next babe,” he sighed happily.

Harry laughed and kissed Louis on the top of his head. “I’m really glad.”

“I love you,” Louis said, kissing the tattoo of the swallow that was supposed to resemble Harry.

“I love you too,” Harry smiled

It was quiet for a moment before Harry started to sing softly, “If today I woke up with you right beside me, like all of this was just some twisted dream, I'd hold you closer than I ever did before and you'd never slip away.”

“Promise me you’ll never slip away again,” Louis said looking up at Harry.

“Promise.”


End file.
